Relationships / Turkey

How to plan the perfect cross-cultural wedding

If you were looking for a ’10 easy steps to…’ kind of a post, this ain’t it I’m afraid (I’ll get back to you after the wedding if/when I’ve managed to figure it out).

Right now, I’m staring down the barrel of a cross-cultural wedding in less than 6 months time, with no idea how to proceed.

(I just re-read that sentence and realised I’m starting to hate myself. Phrases like “less than 6 months”, as if 6 months was a short amount of time, are classic wedding industry panic-mongering that I used to despise. Just look at me now.)

The trouble is, I have little to no idea about weddings in general, let alone the lesser-spotted multi-cultural variety. I’ve been to only a handful in my life, and never in any kind of responsible capacity (even as a bridesmaid, I was only allowed to lace a corset and carry some flowers). Worse, as illegitimate spawn of hippy parents who only condescended to get married when pension arrangements necessitated it, I have no frame of reference and few resources to draw on (that’s not to say that my Mum isn’t super-excited, but it’s like the blind leading the blind at times). On E’s side, I fear there are some specific ideas about how things should be done that are so specific I’m afraid of even asking.

Somehow I think not...

Somehow I think not…

We’ve already managed to cross two big things off the list – find a venue and buy a dress – and we’ve got 6 months to go. The challenge now is to figure out all that devilish detail: how to combine the fun parts of both English and Turkish weddings, and still retain enough of ‘us’ that it won’t be like attending someone else’s party.

Would someone like to come and do it for me?!

After a quick google, here’s the best of the advice I’ve been able to find. If anyone else has any other tips PLEASE share them!

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4 thoughts on “How to plan the perfect cross-cultural wedding

  1. I wish you all the best and I’m glad it’s not my turn yet! do love weddings though and planning for people! haha 😀

    I think with the venue and the dress you have the foundations set in place and the details will all just fall into place as other things are decided.
    Just remember to stay true to you two and also make sure you enjoy your time planning the wedding. After that you will be feeling like a pro and then I can come to you when it’s my turn!

    Good luck with your planning I am looking forward to being kept updated and of course seeing the final result.Just remember that goal when things get too stressful 🙂

    • Thank you! I am really going to need all the luck I can get!

      My problem is, although I love organising stuff, I shrivel up and die inside when it’s my own party in question. Being the centre of attention makes me want to run screaming for the hills.

      But you’re absolutely right, we’ve just got to enjoy the experience and remember that there’s a bigger picture as well (i.e. we’re getting freakin’ married!)

      Once I’ve devised the perfect cross-cultural, inter-faith wedding recipe, I’ll be sure to pass it on 😉

      Hope all’s good with you! xx

  2. I don’t think there is any such thing as the perfect cross cultural wedding. Identify the traditions which are important to both of you and create a mish mash. Everyone’s will be different, but it will be perfect for your union! And don’t worry, it’s totally normal to feel completely overwhelmed and like you have no idea what you’re doing. Somehow it all comes together and becomes worth it in the end 🙂

    • You’re so right! Another symptom of the commerical wedding machine = aspiring for some nebulous version of perfection that Pinterest/Facebook/every wedding magazine ever printed makes you feel is necessary. My new motto from now on? Screw perfection!

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