Those of you who have been following the saga of my dad and his reaction to my impending marriage will remember that he has not been the biggest fan of the whole enterprise.
After a grim few months of barely being able to talk to each other without paralysing levels of awkwardness, I sent my parents their save the date and waited with bated breath to see what would happen…
My mum replied instantly saying of coure they’d be there.
But my dad? Not a peep.
Now it seems he’s starting to come around. He pulled me aside a couple of weeks ago for a Very Serious Conversation in which he said sorry for ever making me doubt that he would come, and that of course he was going to be there.
Big progress, huh? Then, not long after, he told me that he’d taken himself down to John Lewis and bought himself his first suit in 62 years. (Yes, that’s correct, my dad has reached the fine age of 62 without ever once owning or even wearing a suit. What a hippy, eh?) I told him it didn’t matter if he showed up in his underpants, the important thing was that he would be there. But secretly, I think he enjoyed having the excuse. I mean, what 62-year-old man doesn’t want a cream linen suit?
But it turns out that, sadly, just deciding to come and getting a sharp new suit isn’t actually enough to bridge the very real gulf that still exists between us. Only a few days ago, we ended up having another big bust up about some minor wedding-related detail that cut through the suit-buying gloss.
He still genuinely thinks I’m making a mistake and that it isn’t going to work. He’s so sure about this opinion that he can’t set it aside, no matter how I try to reassure him I’ve thought through (in IMMENSE detail) the various disaster scenarios he is sure are waiting for us. It’s hard to put into words how much this hurts, but I’m trying to be patient and give him time. I figure if I’m right about getting married to E (which I think I am, naturally), I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my father by letting rip in a way I’ll later regret.
We’ve made up now, and he apologised again. But it’s a big rift, and one that doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon.